Dear Peter,
This post is specifically for you. Since this is personal to you only, I will not be sharing this post with anyone else. This doesn’t mean it will be hidden from my site but it won’t be seen by anyone else unless people have my post notifications on, or if one day someone stumbles across this blog at night and they read this… but I won’t embarrass you too much and will just continue. (If you choose to send this to anyone else to read, that is entirely up to you though but I won't be in charge of that)
P.S: To any of my friends who are bitter that they didn’t get a post from me it’s because Peter is moving the farthest away while everyone else is more easily accessible… so get over it losers I’m sad you’re all leaving too. On top of that, don't even bother to take this the wrong way. I feel like I don't need to specify this but some of you guys genuinely need it.
Peter, at the time that I am writing this I had gone to your house 2 days prior with Shria after we had wished off someone leaving. We sat in that car and had cried about the thought of you leaving us so soon and even now I can’t grasp onto the fact that you are leaving us and that you are moving halfway across the country. I remembered throughout senior year I would try and persuade you into staying here but I knew deep down no matter how hard I tried, Westmont had your heart. I had known that you wanted to go to Westmont since sophomore year when you had told me you visited campus during your brother’s senior year. I pushed that in the back of my head hoping eventually it wouldn’t happen but it did.
I don’t know if you remember this but on June 26, that was the day we were at Sophie’s house and I had taken you home that night because Shria left early and the first thing you told me in the car was that in exactly 2 months from that day you would be in Santa Barbara. I remembered looking at you and telling you not to bring that up right now because I didn't want to think about it. What’s super ironic was that the entire summer all I had talked about was moving into my dorm in college and yet I never let you talk about leaving because I didn’t want to accept that. I now realize how truly in over my head I was and how selfish that must have been but all of this, it’s inevitable: growing up and having to go.
Don’t be fooled, I am so genuinely happy for you no matter how depressing it is. You moving this far not only shows the bravery you have for starting this new chapter in your life, but it shows the maturity you have reached since I first met you. I have only known you since freshman year but I feel as if I’ve known you my entire life… that's the type of impact you have made in my life and everyone else’s… I know this for a fact.
I think this entire situation would be a lot easier if I wasn’t too emotional and if I actually would stop crying about every little thing and unfortunately that is my worst trait. Everyone definitely knows I might be overreacting but how can I not when I went from seeing you almost every day to only once now and then. I know we’ll have summers and breaks but it won’t ever be the same from this point on. No one really talks about how little time you have with those you grew up with once college starts because our lives finally get serious. But I won’t dwell on this for that long because I know it must happen but for now, that doesn’t stop the empty feeling I have.
On a brighter note, some of my favorite memories with you are our school dances together where you were my date, it was extremely cringe but overall a great time. All the hangouts at your house have always made my nights, Arizona even though you were only there for half of the trip, the times you went to the hockey games and yes even the one game where you got your first ticket, the land and a bunch of moments that I can’t even list. You and the others have made up such a big part of my high school years and no matter where life takes us, I’ll be forever gracious to have had that time and I will never forget it.
I have cried at every single goodbye wish off so far, but yours will be the hardest. I just know I will lose it on Wednesday. this post will either be sent to you the day before or after the hangout at your house- I’m not sure yet but regardless I hope it will touch your heart.
I think even with how sad I’m gonna be with this, I think Shria will be the saddest. You are her best friend and she might even be more emotional than me? (This is very debatable depending on the subject) but knowing me, I tend to feel others’ pain and her sadness will project onto me. I think both Nick and Shria will miss the glue that holds your trio together. I don’t care what anyone says, I know you’re the glue and honestly, the only person who would probably try to argue with me on this is Nick because all he does is try and argue with me. I’m glad he won’t read this but if he does… Screw you, Nick.
But anyways Shria, Nick, and I will definitely try and catch some flights to Santa Barbara to visit you. I think a trip to Cali would be a nice getaway from the cold here in Minnesota. I know California will be so good for you because everyone can agree with me when I say that you are meant to be in Cali.
Now that you have reached the end, I haven’t even gotten the chance to say everything but I know I tend to ramble a lot and you’re probably gonna get bored so I will end it now. Thank you Peter for all the memories and time. Promise me no matter where you are to always call me if you need anything or to update me on your life. I’ll do the same for you and I hope you don’t replace me and find another Asian girl with intense emotional issues and plans everything. (But let’s be real you probs won’t find someone like me in your small school anyways).
But to end this post, a quote that I have been living by this summer in which I like to assume I made up but I know I didn’t because it just seems too common but
“Life moves on with or without you, it’s just a matter of time before you realize the truth”
Not only is this beneficial for everyone but specifically for me right now. So now this is my chance to tell you the group and I are letting you go and live your life and we will live ours. I hope that the life you live moves with you and that nothing will hold you back.
- Sincerely, TT
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