(Sorry for the very bad picture of all of us not looking... I still need some of the parents to send me the better copy of this picture and when they do, I'll replace it but till then enjoy this one... also rip Kinsley for missing the pic and Evan for not being able to make it but he was here in spirit.)
This post was originally going to go on my VSCO journal, but VSCO has officially deleted that tool (Screw you VSCO) so I decided to post it on here. Today, I’m coming on here to talk about something that has been a part of my life for a long time. This is going to be VERY long so I apologize in advance. Honestly, at the end of the day no one might end up reading this, but I at least will finally come to terms with this finale and say things I never got to say during the seasons even if it means no one sees it.
Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am a very private person so this is going to be very new for me but it’s for the best because I’m finally able to share everything I've wanted to.
Warning: this was not meant to offend anyone, I just wanted to share a big part of my life, and I in no way shape, or form trying to trash anybody or to purposely offend them. These are just my thoughts and my summaries from the past few years and if they sound a little rude or passive-aggressive, just know that it was not meant to upset anyone and that although most people do know that I have good intentions, I have been told before that sometimes the tone that I give off is very misleading and can be a little rude at times; but know I am SUPER grateful and happy to have had such a fun opportunity. I would never change this for the world.
The Backstory.
The biggest question I always get is why did I choose to manage hockey and how did it happen? I remembered back in eighth grade I found out about high school sports having team managers, especially football cause that was the most common one and I would joke around with my friends and say that I would love to manage the football team mainly because I love watching sports and it would be really fun.
When I got into high school I realized that football was a very big commitment and one that I could not give and on top of that I wanted to be with my friends on the stands.
During my freshman year of high school, I was alone and lost and everyone around me had already found their place, and while I had a really stable and consistent friend group that grew over the years, I still did not feel any better at the time.
By the end of November, I had two friends on the girl's basketball team and they told me that they needed managers so Kinsley and I decided that we should do it. To be completely honest I hate watching basketball unless it’s college but we were so bored and needed something to do during the long winters so we agreed. Keep in mind that none of this was official until the next week but then during my second hour English class, there were the morning announcements and they announced that Schmidt needed managers for the hockey team and that’s when Kinsley texted me and asked me if I’d rather do that instead and of course I would take Hockey over Basketball any day because I loved watching hockey and growing up I had family members that played.
Before Schmidt got back to us, we knew that the chances were slim but we gave it a shot anyway because we really had no interest in managing girl's basketball and it wasn’t fair for them. Schmidt had responded right away and officially confirmed it with us on December 2nd which was Silverbelle at the time and we had gotten the email in the middle of the dance. But the fact that he gave us the spot to become managers was unexpected and I remembered leaving that dance with the biggest smile on my face.
When I first got the gig, during that entire freshman year I don't think anyone really knew that we managed the team unless they went to the games themselves. But like I said I hated sharing things about my life and on top of that we were going to get a bunch of drama and hate from other people because nowadays I guess saying that you like to watch hockey brings a lot of drama and assumptions (Keep in mind for all of you thinking this, I did NOT do this for “The Boys” or for “Bragging Rights” I actually did this for myself and my enjoyment and that's how you should always do things in life because you should never be doing anything for other people’s sake or to flex because it’s not cool as you might think… But I wasn't about to deal with that so I never shared unless I had to. We honestly didn’t know how to react considering we would’ve had to manage a team full of upperclassman and it was nerve-racking at first, but at the end of the day, I think it all worked out well.
Freshman Year (2017-2018)
By the time that Schmidt needed managers, The boys were about three games in and so that meant that they already took their team pictures, and were already pretty comfortable with the routine they had. My first game was against Irondale at the Super Rink and I remembered walking in to go find Schmidt and the first thing that had happened was one of the guys on the team looked at us with a shocked expression. Keep in mind I have not grown since middle school but I’m a pretty short girl myself and I also looked really young so I think that everyone was just as shocked to find out that freshman we’re going to be managing the hockey team. Back in the day, JV never needed managers so we went straight to Varsity. (The guys took it a lot better than I was expecting because honestly, I would’ve reacted way worse if I were in their shoes). It was such an awkward moment but right after that Schmidt had told us that he had hired one more girl to manage with us and she was a junior and we met her five minutes later. Her name was Mckenna and she soon became one of our best friends and a person we loved being around. Freshman year was a very big trial year for everyone because in the previous year there wasn’t a manager for the team so it was definitely something to get used to for the guys and us.
I remembered at a game against Woodbury at their home rink, that was when we got to meet all the parents and slowly started to form good bonds and connections with all of them. That senior class had some of the sweetest parents I’ve ever met my entire life and to this day I still keep in contact with a few of them and they like to check up on me often. But I’m not gonna pretend that it was all easy and comforting because if anything it was uncomfortable and hard because no matter what happened I always felt awkward and they probably did as well and I was terrified because freshman me was NOT in the mood to make any friends. On top of that upper-classmen were really intimidating to me at the time and I just felt terrible because I knew deep down they definitely did not want freshman managing their team and going into it I only had one good friend on that team. But slowly after a while, they started to open up to us just a bit more and ultimately I became friends with a few of them at the end of the year.
The 2017-2018 year record-wise was just not good, we had won 7 games, lost 16, and tied 1. Then that year we had also played Tartan for sections and we tied and went into an 8 minute overtime, then a full period, and then another 8 minute overtime. I remembered the boys were extremely exhausted and made us bring the water bottles to their locker room and Schmidt would get iffy about letting us in but then Christy pushed us in any way and they asked me to give them a pep talk and that was when I felt for the first time: comfortable. To this day I have very vivid memories of this game because we had high hopes and then in the last 50 seconds we had lost against Tartan and it was the most emotional thing ever. I watched as everyone was crying and all of a sudden I was crying as well and that’s when I realized how much I loved being there and how much this meant to me and even though I had the next 3 years to experience these moments… they didn’t and that was what did it for me.
When we were on the bus the boys had gone up to us and said their thank you’s and goodbyes and then when we got off the bus Kinsley and I turned over to Schmidt and thanked him so much for this opportunity and it made me sad to say it. But that was the first of many thank you’s.
A month later we had the end-of-the-season banquet and I said goodbye to one of my favorite teams ever because even though we didn’t have the best season, this season was by far close with Junior year when it came to my “favorite” season I hope those guys are all doing well to this day and I never knew why I liked that year so much, maybe because it was my first year.
Sophomore Year. (2018-2019)
I'm just gonna go out here and say it: I hated this season. This year was supposed to be a really exciting year because we were sophomores so that meant that the guys in my grade were going to be able to try out and id finally know more than five people on the team. But the moment that the teams were finalized and the season had started I realized how much I dreaded that season. This team was not my favorite and nothing against everyone but it just did not click like it did last year and that was my fault for going into it when high expectations. Or maybe it’s just because I had a VERY shitty sophomore year that played into hockey season but I would go to the rink never feeling good.
This was also a year of drama because a lot of girls were talking about us and we wouldn't have been surprised if some of the boys did as well and I guess I’ll never truly know and that’s okay. I'm not a person that gets offended very easily and I really could care less if anyone was talking shit about me but it was so unnecessary that it was just annoying but it eventually blew over (I think?)
But the boys had won 9 games, lost 15, and tied 1. It wasn’t the worst season I’ll give them that, but for some odd reason I hated everything about that year and maybe that’s just me. BUT One good thing did come out of that year and that was when we beat Stillwater 4-0 at their home rink. When I think of Stillwater I think of them being a really good hockey team and so every time we would play Stillwater we’d either be down by a lot or they would have a shutout. I remembered going into this game with no hopes of winning and as sad as that sounds I was so not feeling that game that day and then all of a sudden we kept scoring and scoring and my mood instantly lifted and I’ve never felt so happy during that entire season. I got home that night with a smile on my face and we got 20 bucks from George Demay’s dad so it was a win-win for all of us. But we ended up losing to them at sections which destroyed me and was not the outcome I was wanting for that shitty year.
It was also a tough year because Mckenna was a senior and that meant that she was going to be graduating and we had gotten really close with her and even though she was staying in-state for college it still felt off and upsetting for us. (Mckenna if you see this, I miss you!) but overall, even though I hated sophomore year and the 2018-2019 season ended up being my least favorite, I still would never change it for the world.
Junior Year. (2019-2020)
During this year we had gone back and it was just Kinsley and I for varsity managers and for the first time we had JV managers as well (Hi Grace and Mckayla) and it took some time to get used to doing things without Mckenna but we were able to adapt quickly and by far this was definitely my favorite team/season ever. We got to go to Crookston and skip a day of school because it was a weekend trip and I remembered having the best time of my life and honestly Kinsley and I were having way too much fun that weekend for no reason whatsoever and I’ll never forget the time we left and realized we forgot Ethan.
The seniors and the juniors that year worked so well together and we had a pretty good season with a record of 10 wins, and 15 losses so 1 better than last season, but we did beat East Ridge at sections and that was something I wasn’t expecting. We ultimately ended up losing to Hill Murray a week after and that was extremely emotional but they did end up winning state and it was still a great game regardless.
There are not enough words to express the love and happiness I had felt this season. This was one I’ll never forget. Every single game was such a fun time and I was able to grow closer with a lot of people that year. I also had SO many sandwiches that year because they literally would feed us every single game and to this day I still am not sick of all the sandwiches and pizza.
While this was the best year, this was also one of the saddest for me (Okay I feel like I’ve said this a million times so just go along with it… and if you couldn’t tell I get emotional very easily) and that is because the seniors that year were the last group of the original team that I first managed. Honestly, I don't think anybody else overthinks this stuff as much as I do but no one will understand what I was feeling that year. The saddest part was that I don't think any of them realized how important this team was to me and I never really told them either so I guess that’s my fault but I think some of them did end up finding out in the long run. In conclusion, there are not enough words for me to be able to describe how amazing the season was and if I tried, I wouldn’t even do it justice. I wish I could go back SO badly.
Senior Year. (2020-2021)
Now, here we are onto the last season of MVBH. At first, the season was a little rough because we were delayed for a month due to Covid and by the time that we got back, it was January 6th, which would've been in the middle of our normal hockey season if we had started at the right time.
A word that I would describe the season would be bittersweet. I was so happy that we were even able to have a season because it was pretty rough at first BUT we ended up beating Stillwater 3-2 in the last second and that’s always an exciting thing because winning is fun. We have beaten Stillwater for the second time in the past four years and that game to this day brings me so much happiness and hope for the future seasons for this program.
But of course, there were very emotional/Hard moments throughout this year. Mckayla was moving to Oklahoma so then it was just Kinsley, Grace, and I. Grace was the sole JV manager, and Kinsley and I were still managing varsity. I have never been a JV manager before and in the past, I would always just go help JV if they needed it but I went to almost every JV game this season and I wanted to spend every single moment left of the season before it was too late because we only had 18 games and not a lot of time left. Unfortunately on top of everything we had started the season with 5 less senior boys and one who eventually left. (I won’t disclose any of this too specifically because it isn’t my business to share) but it broke my heart knowing I wasn’t going to be ending this year with ALL of the same boys I grew up with. Little things like this are hard for me and It was a hard feeling to grasp and after saying some goodbyes to them, I had continued onto the season like I always did with the constant feeling of “It wasn’t the same”.
Every game before and after, Grace and I would sit in her car and talk for HOURS about hockey. We would predict the game or reflect on it afterward and It was hard for me to grasp onto the fact that in just a few short weeks I would be done with this.
Our record this season was 10-9-1 and we only had 18 regular games this season because of Covid but I could only go to 16 of them because my friends and I were going to Arizona for spring break and I didn't know that hockey season was going to go interfere with it. At first, I was really upset that I was missing two days of hockey and to a lot of people it might not be a big deal but this was something I didn't want to miss because I loved being there. I had eventually accepted the fact that I had to miss it and that I couldn't do anything about it and what made it worse leading up to spring break was that I didn't know when hockey sections were going to be so that meant that there was a chance that I could miss that as well. That was what did it for me… the fact that I was probably going to miss the last game that I could ever have with this program and I've spent a lot of nights over thinking about it and honestly part of me was also considering just not going to Arizona so I could experience the last two games of the season but that was when Grace told me that I deserve to go and that she'll be fine without me. Keep in mind that I REALLY wanted to go to Arizona, but a part of me just doubted myself. But, I am very thankful that I did go to Arizona because I had the best time of my life. But I missed the Stillwater and Roseville games which are 2 of my favorite teams to play against but we won against Stilly again and I remembered getting to AZ with all the notifications on my phone and I was so happy for them. Two days later we lost to Roseville and we ended up playing them at sections on March 18... the day I was flying back. I missed that game but luckily for me before the plane took off, we got the final score of 3-2 and I went home extremely happy and relieved to be able to go to one more hockey game at LEAST. But our next opponent was WBL, and that was something that wasn’t going to sit easy on me.
A few days after the boys had a carbo-load and Grace and I had gone to their practice to set up. Things were so normal again but the anxiety I had about our semi-final game against White Bear Lake was rising every moment I was there. It wasn't that I didn't have any faith in them, it was the fact that we haven't won against White Bear Lake in YEARS. A lot was riding on that game for everyone. The day of the game I realize that they didn't have their star player according to Grace and so they gave me a little bit more reassurance… but at the end of the day it's still wasn't enough. We had fought really hard and ended the game 2-3 and we didn't have to film this game so we got to sit in the fan section and I remember just sobbing the last three minutes of the game. They were able to get another goal in after being behind 1-3 for a long time. But once that buzzer came on and indicated that the game is over I had officially lost it. The worst part was that the White Bear Lake boys in the student section were booing us the whole game and would do it every time we walked by and I wanted nothing more than to win this game flick them in the face but it never worked out that way, unfortunately.
Every year the section games always hurt but when it involves the boys in your grade being the seniors… that is a different type of pain that I can’t describe. I watched as all those boys bawled their eyes out and I did the same. After picking up everything and cleaning I said goodbye to the coaches and walked out of that rink for the last time as a manager. I remembered hesitating to open the door because I couldn't bring myself to leave but I knew I had to…. And then I sat in the parking lot for an hour bawling my eyes out. But during that hour I was able to say goodbye to some of the boys, congratulate them, and just finally accepting the fact that this was over. I finally then pushed myself to get into my car and drove away bawling my eyes out. I'm convinced that that night I cried ALL the liquids out of my body and honestly even talking about it still hurts.
If I'm being honest, with how short the season was there was SO much drama (Not involving me but WOW so much was happening), and so many iffy moments that made me question why I enjoyed managing hockey so much. Grace, Christy, Sometimes TJ, and I would sit in the locker room and just talk about everything and we realized the ending of this season didn’t solve everything we wanted and obviously, there are a lot of unanswered and unpredictable things at stake but we won't truly know what happens until we continue on with our lives.
But that ladies and gentleman was the end of Mounds View Boys Hockey. None of my friends understood why I cared so much and tried to comfort me after but I remembered just not feeling good and wanted to be alone. (PS to all my friends who've endured all the talks about hockey from me all these years, you guys are so amazing for that, and lastly, congratulations you're off the hook now)
Conclusion
Now we finally made it to the end. If you stuck with this till the end you genuinely deserve an award because you had just dealt with my LONG rambling. (But if you do finish this, PLEASE send me a text or something and let me know that you read it because I'm kind of curious to see who had actually taken time out of their day to read this!!)
Anyways, they won’t ever see this but it’s worth putting out
First off, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone especially the boys for putting up with me all these years. I know I was not the most perfect manager but I tried to do everything to the best of my ability. You guys are always so patient and understanding with me and I know that no other group of guys would do that. Thank you for always making me laugh and even though some of you would pick on me, it was all really fun and I had a really good time with all of you. But especially thank you to a specific couple of guys who constantly made me feel so welcomed and treated me with the most utter respect. (Not saying names so it’s just up in the air lol). I’m so lucky to have managed a team full of amazing boys and I felt so comfortable around all of you and you all have the biggest place in my heart. And to the boys who couldn’t be here with us this season, just know I never forgot about you guys and that you deserved better. Never forget that.
Now here are my last few words before I finally say goodbye to this. I have said almost everything I needed to at the season banquet so I won’t repeat anything too much on here but, Thank you so much MVBH, for having me all these years and keeping me busy during the harsh winter times. Thank you for taking me in and accepting me when no one/nothing else did. Thank you for being so understanding of every mess up and misunderstanding I made during the past four years. I'm so honored to be able to do something like this because I know that many people will never get the chance to and I was very lucky. Thank you for teaching me to become a better and more patient person. And lastly thank you so much for bringing me together with some of the best group of boys ever and for bringing me into this huge family. I've never felt more at home than when I was at the rink. I'm literally writing this with tears in my eyes (Shocker) and I don't think they'll be going away anytime soon. It's going to feel really weird not having a next year hockey for me. While the past four years weren't perfect and there were some bad/upsetting moments… I am still glad to have made a million more good ones. After 4 years, a shit ton of games and practices later, I finally have to courage to say this: Peace Out MVBH, I hope you’ll be able to find other managers who will appreciate and love this program as much as I did. I love you so much and even though I am finally ready to move on, I’ll never forget you. - Sincerely- TT Truong, Ex-Manager.
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