Friendships

A Cheesy Song for this post, like always:)

(I chose this specific song because I was watching Big Time Rush and got to the ending and it made me think but the song is very fitting for the post and you’ll see why)

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog! If you’re new here welcome! feel free to lurk around for a bit to get a feel of what I write about:)

Today I’m going to be talking about a topic that can be really sensitive but it was such a big part of my life that I felt like I needed to share and that is friendship.

I recently just had a conversation with one of my friends and we talked a lot about our high school friend group and the changes that have happened since high school. Before moving forward I want everyone to take everything I say with a grain of salt because this doesn't apply to everybody and I wanted to share about my situation because I feel like It’ll give good perspective.

But anyways, Ever since high school ended I’ve made so many new friends. I joined a sorority, I became friends with a lot of people in my dorm building, I’m in so many clubs, etc. But I also lost connection with a lot of old friends. As a person who goes to college in state about 80% of my high school goes there and it’s ironic because most of my friends are not the ones that are here with me at school. I knew with such a big friend group that we were eventually going to have to part our ways as we all had different interests in places and careers that we wanted to be in but for me I stayed close to home.

While I always complain about going to a school in state I knew that it was one of the only options that I had and it was the best decision for me even though I always wished that I could’ve gone somewhere else. Growth comes in many different shapes and sizes and while I think I’ve grown a lot as a person I feel like I haven’t grown to my highest potential because I am still in the same place I was living in my whole life, but I wouldn’t change it for the world because I truly feel like I’ve met some of the greatest people that this earth has to offer and I wouldn’t have found them going to a different place.

I don’t really have any obligation mentioning my friendship history to anyone on here, or even speaking for any of my friends but I feel like as a whole I needed to come to a conclusion and I I’ll try to be as brief as I can without exposing too much because I think this is an important conversation to have. Before I really get started though I just wanted to say please do not go around assuming anything about my friends or any situation that could've happened because ultimately what happened to our lives were something that is for us to know only and if you think you know you probably don't. I know most of you will respect this but I do know that there are a few people out there who will talk and while I can't do anything to stop that, I felt like it was good to have a disclaimer about all of this.

Growing up I’ve never been in a situation where there wasn’t a big friend group. While many people might argue that having big friend groups can be a terrible thing because you don’t ever branch out, I feel like I did a pretty good job of having a very good mix of all sorts of friends besides my main ones but it also became really hard for some people I know of to grasp once college started and they didn’t know what to do with themselves because they were so used to a comfortable group setting.

To everyone I’ve met in college, I love you all so much and I can’t imagine a life without you all. I’m glad that I was put in a situation where I was forced to make new friends because I knew where my old friendships would go…. And that is something most people don’t understand.

It’s not completely normal to have the same friends that you had in high school. I remembered when I heard this for the first time I was in utter shock that I could be friends with anyone that wasn’t from my high school/friend group. I think with me, I also have a pretty hard time making new friends just because when I find friends, I like to find the ones that I will be friends with for a long time and the ones that I can truly see myself being friends with. It’s really hard for me to just find someone temporarily but I think I’ve been doing a really good job of finding some great people to be friends with. I also have terrible social anxiety at times and its hard for me to open up to random people.

But really what I’m trying to tell everyone is that it’s totally normal to fall apart from your high school friends. I myself was in denial about the situation because my friend group was so strong but eventually we grew up and a lot of things affected us and it wasn’t as strong as it used to be anymore. Everyone has their own reasons for moving on and while I always knew where my life would go, many people didn’t and enjoyed the comfort of the dynamic which ultimately ended up clashing with those who did know about moving on.

People can say what they want about my friends and I and trust me many people do, but at the end the day at least my friend group knew when to take time apart/take a break. I think the worst thing was that none of us really noticed that there was even a break to begin with until we were really deep into college and we had our own passions that we wanted to pursue, and other friends.

I remembered reading something a while ago and it said that you really don't know the true extent of your friendship until you're apart. For most of our lives we go to school the same people and have the same friends and so when we're thrown into college and we part away from those people that we always knew, we start to see changes in our lives that we've never seen before.

I wanted to tell everyone that change can be a truly scary thing. I hated change growing up and I still do and that’s probably a big reason why I always had the same friends for high school, or that I never really made friends with new people because I always had my guard up. I had to have people tell me that I shouldn’t have my guard up too much because so many people do wanna be my friend and that I’ll never form new friendships with the way that I’m handling things and that is totally understandable. I hate admitting other people are right but this was one time where I knew I needed to listen.

Remember, Please don’t let my experience be something that scares you away from being friends with your high school friends or making new friends or whatever the deal is. Everyone’s situations are different and with mine it came to a lot of realizations to get to this point and there are a lot of people out there who have very great successes with their old friends. And I didn’t fall apart with all of my friends, just a few.

Even though I was making new friends and moving on I also had a hard time being social 24/7 because I think I realized how much I missed the comfort of the group of people I already knew and etc. Ever since I’ve gone to college I’ve made so many new friends and I’m so glad to have opened up to an extent and realized my personal relationships with everyone that I’ve had a connection with.

People always come and go and for me I’m trying to find the friends that I will love and cherish forever and while my friend group from high school might not be a “group” anymore, I know deep down we all have our own connections with one another and that’s what keeps us going and I’m glad to say that I have always had a personal connection with everyone and those are real and they don’t disappear if they’re true friendships.

To all of my high school friends, I am so proud of all of you for branching out and doing your own thing and finally giving yourselves the freedom and happiness you all deserved. I’m sure you’re all happy that I’m not bossing you guys around anymore in terms of plans, and I know that no matter what happens we’ll always be there for one another but just in different forms. I love seeing all of your new memories and friends through pictures because I know that you guys are truly living and you all should:)

When it comes to me though, I do think I need to start living in the moment and not constantly dwelling on the future because I am always thinking about the future and I feel like that really affects the way that I live right now. I will not dwell on any old friendships or incoming friendships because I will just be living in the moment and whoever I'm friends with I will take it on from there in steps.

Anyways, this post is not meant to be depressing but more of a realization and my advice and tips for anyone that feels like they’re in the same shoes. Remember this, friends come and go but the real ones stay. Staying can mean many different things and you don’t have to be as close as we used to be for it to be considered real friendship and since friendship is a pretty subjective term I’m going to let you decide what that means for you and for those around you.

Just remember, it's OK to let go and focus on yourselves and meet new people. We're not always meant to be with the same people for the rest of our lives and while it's a hard concept to grasp just know that one day you're going to experience new things in life end it involves different people. I know not everyone's gonna agree with me but you don't have to. You live your life and I will live mine, but a huge shoutout to my bestest friends, you know who you are:)

- Sincerely, TT:)